Part 3 : The End

Last Chapter. Malas nak elaborate lagi panjang sebenarnya. Well,it all started back when you go out with gamat. Seriously,Im not jealous or what that time.i also have brains to use that he’s your bestfriend and I have to respect on that.the fact yang I piss off that u tell me that you don’t want go out dah,u said you don’t want me to piss off.to be frank baby. I piss off not because u and him going out together. Remember this.it was 9am that time.I piss off because u said this word “tak jadi la nak keluar dgn gamat,syg nak jaga hati bie”. But the fact is gamat overslept and don’t reply to any of your text.by 11am,gamat replied your text saying that he’s overslept and can go with you.and by that sahaja.puff! you forgot  what u promised to me. To be frank.i tak marah or jealous that time with gamat.i swear to god.but the fact that u have promised me that time dear made me piss off. You know who are me.im a man who sticks to my word.and I hope you do so. Its ok with me if you keluar with your own bestfriend.who am I nak pissoff with that remember ? but that promises. Haha. Baby.remember your pd accident? Swear to god lah. That ochestra day at pd.i woke up around 6am. Getting ready to go to pd to surprise you.with a bouquet of roses in hand.i thought i’d surprised you infront of your friend. But Im the one who surprised.i wait you at a petronas nearby asking where you are? But u insist telling me wher are you.i know who are with you that time.thats why u kept it as a secret.i know what happened till that.but I have to swallow the sad thruth. I waited you in your hotel lobby.thinking that you will go out.but it went despair. Last thing that I can do is.wait you at ktm.ived waiting for you at there for the past 2 hours. Still,no sight of you. At last.i made the decision to return home.so I throw that flowers to the dustbin.i was piss of that time.i piss off with your attitude towards me that time.so I drove off to Melaka.i slept at my friend’s house to calm myself down.but at that night. It was the end of us already. You made the decision.I don’t know why you always want to win.so gave u that win that you wanted. I bear it to myself. “sabar je lah hazril,maybe its just your luck”. So I kept quiet till then.till new sem reopen again.with a hope that I will tackle you back.so after a week of tackling.a week of torments tackling you.then after that 1 week.i quit..i still remember our breakfast at anjung. That time you were pissed off that I just don’t bother you.i talk with hany only.yea dear.that time my heart was empty.i don’t know what to do.so,at the night.you texted me that you cant stand how I treat you. Can we be “US” again. So dengan tabah,I cant stand your crying dear.i accept you with these feelings.the feelings that already going to fade away.the feelings that uve killed for the past week.i brave myself up walking these painfull path with you.you said youll make it up.what u have done wrong and you already admit its your own mistake there. Well,remember your advance birthday? I drove off from segamat to kl.it take me 5 hours to get there. How hard to find your house eh. Remember that morning what we’ve planned? Sorry if I screw our plan. So we went out.till at 5 or 6 pm.you have to take ikhmal from school.so I ikut.then hang out at your house.watching kldrift 2 with ikhmal and rizlan. They are funny kid to hang out with I tell you.haha.maybe because I don’t have any little kid to play around and my relationship with my bro doesn’t go well.enough of crapping.then finally.i met your mum.puan ratna dewi.we talk and talked.it was nice back then.she got to know me.i got to know her.so with a cheerping heart.we sang the birthday song.that was a day to remember.i’d celebrate my gf birthday.just me and her family.it was nice and neat back then.nothing to trouble my minds with.so I drove home around 9 or 10.that time was almost midnight.and I don’t know why.but I felt dizzy.was it the cake or me? I don’t know.but as soon as that event was over.i soon know.that your mum didn’t like me.she said im no good and maybe im using you with all those tricks or magics.but babe.you know the drill,you know who am I right? And thank you for believing me that time.after that.we still continue our relationship.still standing strong after what we have faced.until the accident.we was on our way to seremban sending you to kl.what a luck then.back then I know you said you don’t agree.ok,ill take it as my fault then.i wass paralyzed and coma for 2 days.and the first thing that came into my mind was you.i woke up from those 2 day of coma.i scream your name.if you don’t believe me.why don’t you ask anyone who was there? Nazron,pian. They were there.it was painful recovering from the excident.i lost 2 jaw bones,my right part of my mouth cant chew anything and paralyzed till now,my left part of the mouth also cant chew too hard.cause of the grinding and operation.i cant drink cold or hot water,foods,I have hard time eating and thats why u can see how thin I am.ive lost 14KG after that accident..i cant barely eat anything or chew anything.only a straw could give me a hand in eating.everyday I ate bubur mcd and bubur apa tah.i forgot.took me 37 days to eat bubur till I can chew a little.thanks to my mum and my sister who took me to secret recipe.that was the first time I could chew a little.but it was only a cake.after the operation.it was soon going to be finals for uitm diploma student finals.your finals.but everyday u keep visiting me and keep me update.you are there sleeping with me on the ward.it was harsh.pain was everywhere.but I keep my head high.maybe this was god decision.i just pity and feel sad from my mum and family.they shouldn’t be the one who suffers from this.they shouldn’t be the one who sad about this.im sorry family.for my mistake.and finally.the climax. 28^th may 2011. A day after meera’s birthday. Dear love,it was no intention of mine to get pissed.but the fact that WE should have our conversation of ours that time.that time was 10pm when u said lisa and your grandma come over.so I waited.till 1.41am with no answer.so I was damn pissed off.when I checked facebook.u were online.i don’t know what u are busy with but u don’t tell me that time.so around 2am smth.i was pissed off and called you.tell you with those harsh word.i always thought when we had our fights.we would come back and say sorry to each other and try to improve that time.but no.maybe that time you have dzaf and meera.remember you sent a wall post saying cant wait for Saturday to see me? Boy oh boy,I come around Saturday to meet u but its kinda sad right u’re not at pilah? U went off to genting with your cousin and dzaff. How crushed am I that time.life can be so cruel.so I brave up the courage to call you.many times.but you didn’t answer.you said give you some time to think.ok I will give.and the reason why I called puan ratna that night not because of im pissed or getting revenge.it because I was worried about you.do you know that? I gave you time to think about us,to think about your actions.not to find someone to replace me. Then you are back to pilah. 06/06/2011.i plan a surprise party on 05/06/20011 midnight.hoping that u were back.remember my mum texted you where are you? She was helping me to surprise you.then I know ure not coming back.around 8pm.i,ally and her house,my housemate suprises you.when u know that.u cried to me.remember when u told me? “bie,ada tau kawan I yg boyfriend bagi BB for her birthday.wow romantic nye that guy”.at first dear rawaida.i just wanna buy u a handbag. Seriously. So I worked extra time that semester break.thats why im in no mood that month cause of my paycheck was due.not because of what.im being restless.from 1pm to 11 pm.i extend to 2am to fork out money for your birthday. Then till I have enough money.i say to myself. “bagi BB lah.she have gone thru a lot for me.so apa salahnya”.so with that extra cash I forked out.i plan your party.boy! u cried that time remember? You was so happy back then when people celebrated your birthday.To be frank,I want to tackle you back. you may not believe this.i gave my all for this girl.From the pass month. If dulu at pd. It was only a week? Then how can a month u gave me torments? U promised that u wouldn’t treat me again like you treated me like pd.isn’t it the same as it is now? This month only. Ive been in hospital 4 times.haha.foolish me.what is happening to us? If you want me to suffer.i already suffer for a month and 25 days.ive lived with torments. If you said I kongkong your life. What if I x kongkong ? it will the same as pd incident right dear? still same event as now.no strings attached for us,but who yang suffer at last because of their unresponsible action? and you said to me that it will never happen like pd incident.look? do you aware of the situation now.Look when I let go all.what is happening now? Where is US? the relationship we forged with love and care.susah senang bersama? you know hati budi i.i know yours.but where is it now? bukan nak mengungkit dear.i just wanted your to realized =). I just need a hand of guidance now.what should I do now? Why this time its going to far? Why and why? Ya allah,kau bagilah kekuatan dan kecekalan dalam hatiku untuk menempuh dugaanmu ya allah sesungguhnya dugaanmu kali ini amat perit untukku hadapi.berilah dia petunjuk dalam hidup ini ya allah.dan jika masa tidak menemaniku.kau lindungilah dia dan lindungilah sahabat-sahabat dan keluargaku dari sebarang melapetaka sesungguhnya mereka telah banyak menolongku.amin ya rabbal-alamin.